It will all sound silly, and oh so cheesy, but I have to write this down:
1. try some yoga
2. bake perfect macroons
3. loose weight once and for all
4. try doing some crafty stuff (bracelets, bags, paintings)
5. get a tumblr ar/and pinterest account
6. read a lot of inspirational books
7. sew/make myself some clothes
8. visit some of world's famous places
9....
sreda, 12. september 2012
nedelja, 20. november 2011
nedelja, 6. november 2011
Linkin Park - The Messenger
This is one of my favourite songs lately. It was written as a letter by Chester Bennington to his kids. Then he decided to do a song out of it. So freaking cool!
When you feel you're alone
cut off from this cruel world
your instincts telling you to run.
Listen to your heart
those angel voices
they'll sing to you
they'll be you guide
bach home.
When life leaves us blind
love, keeps us kind!
It keeps us kind.
When you've suffered enough
and your spirit is breaking
you're growing desperate from the fight.
Remember you're love
and you always will be
this melody will bring you right
back home.
When life leaves us blind
love, keeps us kind!
When life leaves us blind
love, keeps us kind!
Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhh!
Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhhh!
Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhh!
petek, 4. november 2011
List of possibilities
This is my ranking. Number 1 and 2 are the most wanted. Other methods are mostly ranked by accessibility.
1. indirect suicide - yes, I would pay a good money for it
2. shooting - head, mouth, heart
3. vehicular impact - train or car
4. jumping - bridges, buildings
5. hanging
6. drugs overdose
7. suffocating
8. cutting important arteries
9. drowning
... to be continued
1. indirect suicide - yes, I would pay a good money for it
2. shooting - head, mouth, heart
3. vehicular impact - train or car
4. jumping - bridges, buildings
5. hanging
6. drugs overdose
7. suffocating
8. cutting important arteries
9. drowning
... to be continued
četrtek, 6. oktober 2011
Failed my year at college
Today is 6th of October and I'm in my second year of medicine studies, again. I failed it. Not because I would party hard, not because I would be sleeping during classes, not beacause any other non-college activity like theatre, sports ... No. The reason I failed is that I was and still am unable to study.
During school year I live like 100 km away from my home in an appartment together with my roommate. She does not actually live here because she spends almost every day with her boyfriend. So I am practicly alone. And my best frend is my computer.
My typical day would look like this. I get up at 6:45, have breakfast, brush my teeth, get dressed, walk to school, have classes untill 14:00. Go to lunch or preapare it myself. Sometimes have more classes untill 17:00. Than I would go home and I would sit in front of a book and think. Think about everything else except what I would suppose to think. To play it simple: I just would not study. Instead of it I would watch movies, sleep, go to aerobics, fantasize about my like, eat, masturbate, surf the internet, etc. As I said - anything except studying. Nad the biggest problem is I would not find it problematic. There is a tiny voice in my head teling me not to worry beacause there is plenty of time. At that moment exams are just billions of days away.
The biggest problem of them all is daydreaming. It would just go on and on and I would not even realize it. Sitting in front of a book on the same page for hours. Sounds familiar? Well, it happends to me every day. I cannot concentrate for days because of it. When I finally can, I find out that I cannot remember anything the book says. So I keep on dreaming. It is like a circle that never stops. Fucking circle that got my brain on fire and I wasted a year of my life.
The thing I am pissed about the most is that I did not enjoy it at all. I would not mind failing a year because of incredible expeiences like traveling, meeting new people, becoming a better person, loosing weight. But I failed it sitting in my room with death pale skin and obese. Do you get it?
During school year I live like 100 km away from my home in an appartment together with my roommate. She does not actually live here because she spends almost every day with her boyfriend. So I am practicly alone. And my best frend is my computer.
My typical day would look like this. I get up at 6:45, have breakfast, brush my teeth, get dressed, walk to school, have classes untill 14:00. Go to lunch or preapare it myself. Sometimes have more classes untill 17:00. Than I would go home and I would sit in front of a book and think. Think about everything else except what I would suppose to think. To play it simple: I just would not study. Instead of it I would watch movies, sleep, go to aerobics, fantasize about my like, eat, masturbate, surf the internet, etc. As I said - anything except studying. Nad the biggest problem is I would not find it problematic. There is a tiny voice in my head teling me not to worry beacause there is plenty of time. At that moment exams are just billions of days away.
The biggest problem of them all is daydreaming. It would just go on and on and I would not even realize it. Sitting in front of a book on the same page for hours. Sounds familiar? Well, it happends to me every day. I cannot concentrate for days because of it. When I finally can, I find out that I cannot remember anything the book says. So I keep on dreaming. It is like a circle that never stops. Fucking circle that got my brain on fire and I wasted a year of my life.
The thing I am pissed about the most is that I did not enjoy it at all. I would not mind failing a year because of incredible expeiences like traveling, meeting new people, becoming a better person, loosing weight. But I failed it sitting in my room with death pale skin and obese. Do you get it?
torek, 24. maj 2011
Words
There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
there is a rapture on the lonely shore,
there is society where none intrudes,
by the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not Man the less, but Nature more ...
- Lord Byron
nedelja, 8. maj 2011
all my imperfections
I am full of problems, which are of course all my fault. I know that I am able to make them disappear. But you know doing something is always a lot harder than fantasize about. So here is list of everything I hate about myself:
1. being obese
2. easy to distract
3. daydreaming all the time
4. being able to sleep for days/weeks/months
5. not being able to sing
6. having bad/weird articulation
7. being lazy
8. being unsociable
9. having bad memory
10. daydreaming (once again)
11. not being able to concentrate to study
12. always having cold arms and legs
13. selfhurting
14. addicted to food, internet, TV
15. hating all the people
16. not being able to live without people
17. unconfident about myself
18. wanting some attention but not being exposed
19. always blushing when in the centre of attention, or just speaking
And the list could go on and on ... So the things written above will be the main topics of this blog. Have I heard egocentric? You are right. If you do not like it just leave the page, OK?
1. being obese
2. easy to distract
3. daydreaming all the time
4. being able to sleep for days/weeks/months
5. not being able to sing
6. having bad/weird articulation
7. being lazy
8. being unsociable
9. having bad memory
10. daydreaming (once again)
11. not being able to concentrate to study
12. always having cold arms and legs
13. selfhurting
14. addicted to food, internet, TV
15. hating all the people
16. not being able to live without people
17. unconfident about myself
18. wanting some attention but not being exposed
19. always blushing when in the centre of attention, or just speaking
And the list could go on and on ... So the things written above will be the main topics of this blog. Have I heard egocentric? You are right. If you do not like it just leave the page, OK?
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